As in all things in life, the practice of love requires a starting point. You have to know where you are before you can get to where you want to be. Look at it this way. If you want to go someplace, even if it is just to the other side of town, and you have never been there, you have to start with a statement or acknowledgement of your starting point.
To take it to the silly, if you actually live on Pine Street, but in your head you think you live on Elm, you can’t possibly get to where you want to go because you are starting with misinformation. So the start is to know, or to own up to, where you live right now. You live in a house on a street in a town. You own the house. The house is you. The house may have many rooms, or just a few. It may have an attic, a basement, or both. It may be a mansion or a shack. It can be one, or the other, or both. Your living room can look like a mansion and your bedroom like the aftermath of a war.
The point is for you to know and understand without judgement what your house looks like right now. Are there bags of garbage hidden in the basement left over from childhood or broken relationships? Is one room bright, sunny and sparkling clean, and another dark and dingy?
Using the above as a guide, take a good, hard look at the inside of you, at your emotions and thought patterns relative to your life. See as
clearly as you can what the real, hidden you looks like in the context of family, home and recreation. What parts do you like, what don’t you like? And remember, this has nothing to do with how much money you have or how you look on the outside. These things are external and are only a reflection of what is internal.
Remember too that this kind of assessment and change is a lifetime process. Discovering the bits and pieces of garbage hidden away in the attic takes time and the willingness to shine a light on the dark corners of mind and heart.