Love’s Dynamic

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Notice that the word pity is not included in the list of words defining compassion and yet it is the word most often cited as a synonym. It is an interesting phenomenon of the language because, for the most part, no-one wants pity; it makes them feel small and inadequate. They do, however, want us to care and that is what compassion should be about.

Of the words listed to describe compassion the one that speaks to me the loudest is ‘understanding’. To truly understand another person, or even our self, requires that we look beyond what is visible to the layers of circumstances that are hidden. It is to undertake the mental exercise of walking a mile in another person’s shoes. It is to understand that we are not all equal when it comes to the choices we are accorded.  

A woman in an African village has a very narrow window of choices compared to even the poorest of the poor in more developed countries. The boy growing up in middle-class suburbia has a far wider spectrum of choices than the boy growing up in the ghetto. People born with mental or physical incapacity must deal with limited choices throughout their life. And then there are the choices made by each of us every day that are coloured by perceptions born of personality, culture and circumstance.

Compassion is not exclusive to the obviously less fortunate. Using the characteristics of perception and awareness we can – anytime, anywhere – pay attention to the landscape of another person’s face and know they are hurting. Your response to that hurt may be nothing more than acknowledgement and a gentle word of understanding; it may be an invitation to talk. Whatever the response, that person will know, at least for that one moment in time, that someone cares enough to notice their pain.

Love is Compassion